Lessons from Atlanta
In the old days, women had books that were in alphabetical order. In them, they would write down the addresses and phone numbers of their friends, relatives and selected co-workers. These old-fashioned devices were known as address books.
Men had similar books, usually black, in which they kept the phone numbers of women they had, um, dated, hoped to date or had dated and hoped to possibly date again.
No more. Today, people keep all their important contact information on cell phones, Palm Pilots and other electronic gadgets.
Big mistake.
Just ask my Boss.
Boss and I were in Atlanta with some other co-workers recently for the big food show. On our way out of Hotlanta, Boss left his cell phone in the back of a cab. He will never see it again.
Never.
It’s not that Boss didn’t know the name of the cab company or the driver. This was a business trip, so Boss had a receipt with the name and phone number of the cab company on it. And because the cabbie had a unique French name, it was easily remembered by all four of the co-workers in the minivan cab.
Boss called the cab company from the Airport From Hell and asked for Pepe.
“Hi, I was in your cab about an hour ago on the way to the airport, and I left my cell phone in the back of your cab,” Boss said.
“I hev not bean to zee airport today,” Pepe said.
“Uh, yeah you have,” Boss said. “You dropped four of us off at Delta about an hour ago.”
“I hev not bean to zee airport today,” Pepe said.
Click.
In addition to his fare and tip, Pepe received a free cell phone with all of the Boss’ phone numbers.
The moral of the story is, write down your phone numbers for backup.
And never trust a Frenchman.
MORE FREE CRAP
So we’re walking around the food show, and there is a large contingent of Mexican companies that has employed a Mariachi band to entertain and more than a dozen beautiful, bilingual young women to hand out delicious free food samples and colorful tote bags filled with other freebies. The Wife loves free crap, especially tote bags, so you know I had to bring one home.
Wherever these lovely ladies appeared, men swooped in for the, uh, free food. Yeah, that’s it. But I thought some women were going to tackle each other trying to get these free bags. I got in what I thought was a line once, only to have women swarm around me while the bags disappeared. I did eventually get one after the Mexican women – dressed in tight, tight white pants and low-cut, midriff-baring tops – came back with reinforcements.
Another company employed the Atlanta Falcons cheerleaders to attract a crowd to its booth. Alas, although the cheerleaders did have skimpy outfits, they had neither free tote bags nor free food. The Mexican area was very popular.
SPIN ME ROUND ROUND
Fact No. 1) If you go to a reception sponsored by a grape company, you will get drunk whether you want to or not.
Fact No. 2) If the reception takes place in one of those restaurants that spins around on the top of a building, you will feel extra drunk.
So we’re at the Sun Dial on top of the Westin, guests of a lovely company that is literally wining and dining us. Because they have plenty of wine, white and red, the wait staff never stops pouring. The old saying about the glass being half-full or half-empty doesn’t apply here because our glasses were always full. It makes it impossible to keep track of how much you’ve had to drink when a constant parade of waiters and waitresses keep filling your glass before you can empty it.
Hey, is the room spinning, or is it just me?
BE NICE
Is there a worse airport in the United States than Atlanta? I think not. It always takes forever to get through security. They never have enough people working, and my gate is always the last one at the end of the terminal.
Boss learned the hard way that calling the security screener a “fat bitch” does not expedite the process.
No wonder they lost his luggage.
Men had similar books, usually black, in which they kept the phone numbers of women they had, um, dated, hoped to date or had dated and hoped to possibly date again.
No more. Today, people keep all their important contact information on cell phones, Palm Pilots and other electronic gadgets.
Big mistake.
Just ask my Boss.
Boss and I were in Atlanta with some other co-workers recently for the big food show. On our way out of Hotlanta, Boss left his cell phone in the back of a cab. He will never see it again.
Never.
It’s not that Boss didn’t know the name of the cab company or the driver. This was a business trip, so Boss had a receipt with the name and phone number of the cab company on it. And because the cabbie had a unique French name, it was easily remembered by all four of the co-workers in the minivan cab.
Boss called the cab company from the Airport From Hell and asked for Pepe.
“Hi, I was in your cab about an hour ago on the way to the airport, and I left my cell phone in the back of your cab,” Boss said.
“I hev not bean to zee airport today,” Pepe said.
“Uh, yeah you have,” Boss said. “You dropped four of us off at Delta about an hour ago.”
“I hev not bean to zee airport today,” Pepe said.
Click.
In addition to his fare and tip, Pepe received a free cell phone with all of the Boss’ phone numbers.
The moral of the story is, write down your phone numbers for backup.
And never trust a Frenchman.
MORE FREE CRAP
So we’re walking around the food show, and there is a large contingent of Mexican companies that has employed a Mariachi band to entertain and more than a dozen beautiful, bilingual young women to hand out delicious free food samples and colorful tote bags filled with other freebies. The Wife loves free crap, especially tote bags, so you know I had to bring one home.
Wherever these lovely ladies appeared, men swooped in for the, uh, free food. Yeah, that’s it. But I thought some women were going to tackle each other trying to get these free bags. I got in what I thought was a line once, only to have women swarm around me while the bags disappeared. I did eventually get one after the Mexican women – dressed in tight, tight white pants and low-cut, midriff-baring tops – came back with reinforcements.
Another company employed the Atlanta Falcons cheerleaders to attract a crowd to its booth. Alas, although the cheerleaders did have skimpy outfits, they had neither free tote bags nor free food. The Mexican area was very popular.
SPIN ME ROUND ROUND
Fact No. 1) If you go to a reception sponsored by a grape company, you will get drunk whether you want to or not.
Fact No. 2) If the reception takes place in one of those restaurants that spins around on the top of a building, you will feel extra drunk.
So we’re at the Sun Dial on top of the Westin, guests of a lovely company that is literally wining and dining us. Because they have plenty of wine, white and red, the wait staff never stops pouring. The old saying about the glass being half-full or half-empty doesn’t apply here because our glasses were always full. It makes it impossible to keep track of how much you’ve had to drink when a constant parade of waiters and waitresses keep filling your glass before you can empty it.
Hey, is the room spinning, or is it just me?
BE NICE
Is there a worse airport in the United States than Atlanta? I think not. It always takes forever to get through security. They never have enough people working, and my gate is always the last one at the end of the terminal.
Boss learned the hard way that calling the security screener a “fat bitch” does not expedite the process.
No wonder they lost his luggage.
posted by David at 2:07 PM
6 comments
